Your · Artemis

2009: wandering around Yorkville with my mum, being disgusted by how many adventspyramiden and other traditional "German" Christmas decorations are now labelled as being made in China.

2008: booking my two-week trip to Germany where i will see real pyramiden at the Weihnachtsmarkten in Hamburg and Lüneburg.

just one of my many "life is perverse" thoughts!
life is going alright though. not too overwhelmed by schoolwork for once. it is grey and rainy in good ol' Toronto, but i can leave "the big shop" until tomorrow morning if need be. Chris is back from his dad's (how i miss Laughton!) and i got to speak to him for the first time in days, and we've got another chat scheduled for tonight. have begun my collection of things to send in a Christmas parcel, as opposed to having it all just written down on a list. Mom's birthday plans all went really well, she had a fantastic time. all week i've been trying to arrange plans with Danilo, Novak and Kit. (together or separately, really doesn't matter!) but so far none have come to fruition. not that it's any of their fault, this is a busy time of year. Novak has some big philosophy essay, Kit works, and Danilo's prepping for Round Two of the LSATs. with any luck, Kit and i can grab a coffee tomorrow evening! November is looking up.

i just found out that i'm to expect a letter from my Weave! it makes me happy. i've been missing her so.
also, gift ideas? my mum's turning 50 and i don't know what to get her. she's got all the jewellery she needs, and is not a shawl/candle/bath shite type person.
pesto pasta for tea, mmm.

Here are the rules:

• Leave me a comment saying "Resistance is Futile."
• I'll respond by asking you five questions so I can satisfy my curiosity
• Update your journal with the answers to the questions
• Include this explanation in the post and offer to ask other people questions

spacegarden asked me these questions:

1. What's your least favourite thing about English culture as a whole?

Any one of my Brits could probably answer this for you. My least favourite thing is the drinking culture, their attitude towards alcohol. I can't get over its constant presence in their society. Most social events include it - if not revolve around it - and I despise that. I wouldn't be surprised if there are more binge-drinkers there than anywhere else in Europe. They must have one of the biggest populations of alcoholics. Just a pint easily becomes two or four or more. I hate young girls and alcohol, what it turns them into. The absolute cheapness of drinks does not help. University freshers' weeks rely on alcohol. Many people have seen their own parents drunk, which disgusts me. Study after study comes out showing how they as a country are only getting worse, and yet - hey! nothing seems to be being done. I hate how down-played the frightening aspects of all this are, how easily excused away. I could clearly go on, but you get the gist!

2. How many kids do you plan on having these days?

Haha, I do remember wanting 4 once upon a time... Nowadays it's probably more realistic to say 3. At least one of each gender.

3. What's the worst movie you've ever seen in theatres?

I'm sure there are many candidates, but the one which first springs to mind is Jeepers Creepers 2. (Do you remember that?! Good god.) Actually, I could've said Watchmen, but no, I think it deserves a bit more credit, haha.

4. In your Toronto university experience - do you prefer living in res or in the apartment?

Res, for sure. I like this apartment (having a kitchen!) and I like having more freedom but ultimately... res was cheaper, closer to class, and there were way more people about. Mind, given that it's fourth year and I've got more work than ever, maybe it's best to socialise less?

5. If you were given a million dollars but it had to go to a charitable cause - where would the money go?

Ooh, tough one. I'd have to do a 75/25 split between the Canadian Cancer Society and World Wildlife Federation. I do love me some furry creatures, but I think cancer's the greatest threat of all.

sessions. swift halves. pints. bitters. catch ups. a half for the road. cider. pub quizzes. socials. "shopping". pub crawls. pie and a pint.
god knows there are things i dislike about it, but i do miss pub life.

or rather, how did my life slip away from me?
i feel like everything's beyond my control, yet all my fault. suddenly i have no say anymore, that i've irrevocably screwed things up. i feel like all i'm doing is waiting for one thing or another. getting through each of these past few days has been an immense struggle. it's as if the only thing going right with my life right now is Chris. we're as in love as ever and i feel extraordinarily lucky to have him, but then - even look at that! it's not perfect either, an expansive 3000km gap between us.
i don't know. schoolwork, my health, Rahier, keeping in contact with the Brits... i'm falling to pieces. i guess November's always a crap month, but this one's off to a particularly bad start. i just need some time off from worry and anxiety. i need Tuesday afternoon to get here. i need to get over this weekend, and survive the next two days of class. on the one hand, you know, i couldn't be happier that i'm growing up, that this is my final year, that i'm almost free and able to fly to England. but on the other hand... growing up is a pain in the ass. it never gets easy. i can't help feeling powerless and confused and without any real direction.
what i could really use is a big, squeeze-the-life-out-of-you hug. i could use Dutchie to talk to, and Chris to lay down with. everything seems to be exacerbated by the fact that i feel stranded.

i am alive, no worries.
drowning under work, of course, but still alive. as it were, i do have lots of things to write and tell, but it's difficult to find the time. i want to tell you all about the courses i'm taking, and my professors. i'd like to update you on how things are going with Chris. i'd like to tell you about the lovely(!) letters i receive from Europe (Royal Mail strike notwithstanding) and how much i dearly miss my Brits. then there's my life here, my Glendon Mondays where i crash at Danilo's and we have our weekly evening together (including watching HIMYM, oh yes), or my frustrations with Loblaws shopping or the extortionate TTC. and the weather! good god, when did it become November? it's already snowing at Dave's home in Fergus, and i don't think we'll be denied the pleasure much longer. it's hovering around 0 degrees already. i'm wearing clothing i haven't touched in over a year, haha, having deemed most of my British garments unacceptable! and of course, there's my new job at the patisserie/boulangerie Rahier. i've got two more shifts this weekend before i'm put on the official roster.
aaaaah, so much. today after American Novel class i met up with my dear Lauren the Canadian. we basically talked nonstop for 5hrs; i eventually had to come back home. it was brilliant. we're compatible and agreed on so many things - and she is the nearest as as anyone (considering she is neither Dutchie nor has a boyfriend) to understanding and sympathising with me. she's planning on moving back there soon too, with a 2yr youth visa - yay. god i hope she gets it. the sentence most uttered was probably, "YES! Oh my god, that's exactly it!" or something along those lines. it was an absolutely fantastic evening.
anyway, time for bed soon. Christoph's written another lovely email, and i'm very tired. was up till 4 (i know, i know) writing an essay, ack. tomorrow we're watching Clueless in Filming Lit - good times! and then working with French partner Julia on our presentation - bad times... going to be another eventful week.

PS - i adore this new icon ( ogeeicons) - Hathaway is my guilty pleasure sweetheart. cannot wait for new Lewis to air, although i'm contented with Spooks for the moment!

PPS - also, Dee: please tell me Mac's Comm kids were this awesome during frosh week this year? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zcOFN_VBVo

what a night.
it was, in short, epic.
i haven't written in here in ages, and i suppose lots has happened. i'm going in for training tomorrow at a cute cafe/shoppe called Rahier, down on Bayview. the manager seems really nice, and on top of which - every time he emails me he slips some German in, haha. only more impressive because he's French. we'll see how it goes, but i've got a good feeling.
last night, of course, was Danilofest. we went to Bar 244 in the end (best identified as "the one with the brick wall"). there were about 25 people out in total, and we had about 12 over for the pre-drink here. one of the little ones, Sarah, and i got along great. i mean, we've got enough in common! she spent a few months working in London, dated Danilo for awhile, and is an atheist. mind, that's probably where the similarities stop, but it looks like we've got loads to talk about for awhile. there was a great turn-out, all things considered, and happily - i felt comfortable with all of them. it was a really, really fun night. first time i've gone out since coming back from England, and it definitely could've been a lot worse. i got to know Danilo's little second years better (they are sweet), and a lot of his Serbs were there (of course!) who i recognized too. especially my darling Marko, what a sweetheart. considering i was quite tipsy before we even left here (glass of wine, glass of port, and about four servings of gin? haha yeah) i ended up having two more drinks at the club and being just fine. danced most of the time, and it was a lot of fun. unfortunately (and amusing, cos Danilo told the little ones how well his upper-year friends can hold their liquor) Adri and Sarah were quite a handful. like, Adri was already sleeping on the subway and needed propping up. needless to say, it kinda sucked cos you always had to keep an eye on them, and Dave - being the guy - spent a fair bit of his night looking after them. bad times. but, other than that, was fantastic. there was one of those professional photographer chappies there, so we're keen to see our nice photos up online sometime soon. the DJ wasn't bad (will always miss Tru! no matter how predictable...) and there were enough of us just laughing and smiling away to really enjoy ourselves. best of all, it seems as Danilo had a wonderful night too. and not just cos he got some drunken action from Starr, haha. he and i were exchanging glances and grins the whole night. was home by about 3, which isn't too bad. and today? no hangover! just general aches, and exhaustion. oh, and an apartment to clean up, eek. there will be quite a few great stories, and maybe even some interesting photos! i'm very pleased with how it all turned out. best of all, not including the alcohol i bought for here (which was what, maybe $15?) i spent $25 out, including cab fare. not that bad at all! hopefully it won't be too long till we get to go out again.
the thought has been building in my mind all week, but last night it really came true: as much as i love England, it will be massively difficult to leave this place.

PS - we found the poutine place. a whole menu with different types of poutine, mmm
PPS - there was a guy there who looked remarkably like Christoph. except taller, if you can believe it. when Danilo and i saw him we just mimed "the hair!" across the room, haha.
PPPS - Adri picked up a Cuban guy from Miami. eek

i was chatting this morning to Chris on Skype. he's been having a great fresher's week so far. Sunday, the first night, was "wild and very very fun" and gave birth to many funny stories about Jack, Lee, and everyone else. those poor little freshers mustn't know what's hit them. i sent a massive (and i mean, 4,000 words massive) email to Dutchie, catching her up on my life and as much York gossip as i knew. according to Jackiebear - Mark and Faye have split up! madness. and so brilliant.
anyway, chatting to Chris, and my laptop started acting up so i came up onto Mom's computer. he said he'd have time for maybe 15mins more. he told me about going out for a pint with Lee last night, and i was very jealous! sounds like they had a nice time. anyway, as Christoph and i were talking, Jack rang and said he'd be round in a few minutes. sure enough, there was a loud knock on the door and in walks my sweetheart! just the same as ever, bless. full of lively stories and rumours, haha. we talked for a bit, and then Ngaio came in too. she's looking well. just sitting with the two of them (Jack had, very cheekily(!) asked Chris if he could have some of Chris's dinner too, so Chris went down to the kitchen to sort it out) was absolutely wonderful. the banter and casualness. in some ways, we haven't changed since July, and it was nice to see they're as lovely as ever. then Chris came back up, with Arthur trailing behind. Arthur had brought some tea for all them, haha. then there were four of them, with Jack and Ngaio both trying to tell me things, and Chris and Arthur dancing up a rave in the background. i couldn't stop grinning, it was fantastic. almost, almost, like old times. that's what Ngaio said, delightedly, and Jack pointed out, "Yeah, it is. 'Cept Steph's in a box." hahaha. i loved it. then they dispersed and i was left with Jack again. he told me a story about his travels in Eastern Europe, and then Emily came in to chat as well! she was confused about what to wear tonight (there's a Wild West fancy dress night at Yates's) with her freshers. then she and Jack both left, and Ngaio came in. Chris's room was like Grand Central Station, i swear! in and out, in and out - absolutely marvelous. we talked for a bit more, said bye, and she shouted (that little woman has the most powerful lungs) for Chris. up and in he came, and we spoke for a few more minutes before saying goodbye. i told him that that last hour was the highlight of my week, and told him to send them all my love. he assured me he would, and knows they've been missing me as well.
it's moments like that which make me realise yet again that i must go back. one hour, and really - it was the highlight of my week. i know it was a blip in time for them, but i'll be smiling at the memory for days.

i don't have time to write, so take this for now. i was listening to British iTunes radio, and smiled when this song came on:

lyrics here.