Your · Artemis

"I had one of those rare 'lightbulb' moments of clarity.
"I realized that all of those essay deadlines, and seminar presentations, and all those encounters with the dodgy Goodricke laundry, and being away from home and independent, all add up. You emerge with a metaphorical and literal straight back and an understated, mostly confidence in yourself, your abilities, and your, dare I say it, future...
"It is a powerful, not to say humbling, feeling to know, to KNOW, that you are a mature human being and can do whatever you like. And that no-one, or nothing, can stop you. As I was walking past the docks, a Brazilian iron ore carrier was leaving port. I thought 'I know. I'll join the Merchant Navy and go to Brazil!' I won't of course. but I could - if you see what I mean.
"I do not ascribe this deep seated existential optimism to Goodricke College, certainly, and not to the University of York either. It is more to do with people. The people I lived with, and liked and disliked, and learnt from. Either in an exemplary fashion or as something to avoid. COUGH! ANTHONY! COUGH!"

classic, classic Lee. i've never encountered a better letter-writer, really. poor lonely Lee is stuck in his hometown of Port Talbot, Wales for the summer. it's a small steel-mining town, and not a job is to be found. i'm so glad i met him. we've had our peevish moments, sure, but which friends haven't? i know he's a keeper for life. he's written me two letters now, and sent a book (his copy of A Farewell to Arms, which has "polluted" his bookshelf long enough, haha). he's fantastic. each of his letters has been filled with wit and wisdom, and a very honest way of looking at life, which i can very much relate to. he's an old soul, our Lee. now that my conscience is guilty enough, and i've bought loads of stamps (Olympic ones, cute) i think i'll concentrate tomorrow on writing him back. he mentioned to Chris that he might be thinking of going to Belgium and Holland for a little holiday. he could see Dutchie on her home territory! massively jealous. i'd like to write all of them, really, the whole corridor. nothing could be further removed from our life there to my life here, and i miss them so.
anyway, other than that, same old same old. How I Met Your Mother, Harry Potter reading, Williams, and long Skype chats with Chris. might see the Potter movie tonight! fingers crossed. i've heard enough about it (what's in it, what's not, etc.) and seen all the trailers, but i'm simply looking forward to just sitting down and enjoying and a half unadulterated hours of fangirly bliss.

i'm feeling:

impressed

the gorgeous autumn wind is here! i can smell the decaying leaves in it.
busy busy day. it was just the pharmacist and i, and we were overwhelmed. it's a Sunday, for gods' sake - why aren't you all with family? stop stocking up on drugs! i even had to give up one of my breaks. no big deal, i'd prefer busy days over quiet any time. only thing is, now i'm dead tired and my feet hurt.
on my way home i decided i'd relax for a bit before packing by watching the series 6 finale of Spooks. guys, i never thought i'd like this show so much. i mean, it's a show about MI5! an award-winning show, but still... it's a drama/thriller/action/adventure with emphasis on government spies and national politics. (granted, it is British and the Americans aren't put in the best light, hahaha.) it's about terrorism, assassinations, corruption, and it's all very, very sketch. most of the plot lines - should they ever happen - are horrifying. it's frightening to think that such people, organizations, secret services, and governments exist. the brilliance of the show is that it's totally unpredictable. often you have absolutely no freaking idea how the messy situations will be resolved until the last few minutes. (in that regard, season 6 is weird because it isn't serial at all. it's one long story arc from the first episode to last - very tense.) and it's even freakier because you can't know when your favourite character is going to be offed. in like, the third episode of the show, they killed one of the leads, and they've been doing stuff like that ever since. doesn't matter if it's the season premiere, or the middle of the fourth episode, or whatever - you just don't know. this makes it very interesting story-wise though. the new characters are woven in fluidly. although only two characters have lasted all six years, they've never had fewer than 5 team members. nearly every character i adore. best part is (as always): they're flawed! heck, half of the characters are gone because they became moles, went mental or screwed up and had to "die". of course, you can never be prepared for that because it's hard to see your favourites as flawed, but it does make for a devastatingly realistic show.
i guess the main reason i watch this show is (surprise surprise) for the characters. even their guest characters/actors were impressive, haha. but as for the main cast: whether it was Danny and Zoe in the first few seasons with their (heartbreakingly!) close friendship, or Ros with her difficulty in overcoming her past, or Adam (who has enough reasons to psyschologically collapse and amazes you in his struggle to survive), or Harry with his undying devotion to his team and country - i adore them. they're delightfully written. ohh, even the bad guys are fantastic (often because it's sometimes hard to differentiate, haha). very few of the staff do i dislike, znd they're gone now. you have your techie geek, your wannabe family man, your patriotic nonpracticing Muslim, your journalist-turned-spy - everyone's different. one of the main focuses of Spooks is on relationships, or rather - the lack thereof. it's repeated over and over that it's impossible to maintain a relationship and an MI5 career. they're heavily "encouraged to date within the Service", but even that doesn't turn out well most of the time. it's kind of neat to think that there really are people like this, those who sacrifice their relationships, integrity (they're all brilliant liars), and lives for national security, for us. 
 

i'm feeling:

guilty

i can do it. right? i can do it.
i don't foresee any complications, and i can't predict curveballs. i just have to remember to take it easy and don't get overly excited. now is when things get back to normal. so much sooner than i thought i could, i'm healing. from now on, all steps will be forward.
new icon by syntaxlie. i can't pretend i'm sad Marian's gone, but Guy's unrequited love for her (even if he is somewhat psychopathic) totally drove the show. there's nothing like a doomed love story, haha. i can't wait to see Richard Armitage in the new series of Spooks. (i will do an entry about that show one day, promise.) love yous!

i'm feeling:

curious

the family has flown and i'm free. we had a nice last night/day. thankfully, i had today off so we got to spend the whole time together. Mom, Leonie and i went to Ikea today, while Dad took the others to visit his work, and Val (of course) stayed home. when we got back there was some impressively delicious lunch, and what felt like the world's longest photo op. my parents figure - oh so morbidly - that we don't know how long we'll still have my grandparents, so we should take as many photos as possible. somehow this makes sense. so there were many, many pictures taken. of us four girls, of my grandparents, of us with my grandparents, of my parents with my grandparents, of the oldest granddaughters, of the youngest granddaughters, and of the cats! afterwards we had some almond Daim cake, and they left. my grandfather was driving everyone absolutely insane with his insistence that they leave at 5, so naturally my dad made sure they only left at 5:10, ahaha. oh well, he's a big grouch and deserves it. i'll miss my cousins and my grandmother, but there's just no way i'm going to miss him, eek.
Mom and Dad drove them to the airport, and as soon as they left Val and i did a little dance, not gonna lie. we have our privacy back! i think i'll probably stay as in touch with Leonie and Nathalie as well as i do with Dana and Louise. granted, this isn't saying much - but it would be more contact than we've had previously. anyway, i grabbed me some salad and settled down to watch Robin Hood - that BBC series.
i've seen four episodes so far. it's fun, that's for sure. not exactly authentic or believable - but fun. good jokes and gorgeous men, that's all i felt like. nothing serious, haha. no but really, holy crap, check out Jonas Armstrong. i mean, i knew i'd like Richard Armitage (brilliant in his typical role of brooding bad guy) and would enjoy any appearance he made - if only because of his voice! but Jonas Armstrong is like an older, blonder, Irish Sean Biggerstaff. like i said - it's fun. and right now, it's my weekend, and fun is what i need!
this week is going to be packed with things to do. tomorrow i'm supposed to be seeing Hetal. he's turning me into a serial texter and i'm not sure i like it. seriously - in the past week alone i've spent more time texting or Facebook-messaging him than anyone else. it's weird. anyway, if i don't see him i may still go in to Toronto and try to see Marybeth or maybe even Greg. eek. oh, i wish Novak were back. then Tuesday i work again, but after work there's the GPS event which at which we're going to make NHE proud. then Wednesday after work, there's dinner with Damien, to celebrate our birthdays. he's going to be in British Columbia on the 10th - lucky bugger. and thereafter, i've got to sort out my entire birthday party! all i've got is a cake, ahaha. i don't think i can handle any more plans. love yous!

i'm feeling:

calm

i wasn't planning on switching icons till tomorrow, but i've realized i won't have much time then, between work and dinner. this one is the best of its kind i've seen, and 

nyxenart

i'm feeling:

hot